April 9th, 2001

Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Washing Airplanes

You are the chief airplane washer at the company hangar and you:

  1. Hook high pressure hose up to the soap suds machine.
  2. Turn the machine "on."
  3. Receive an important call and have to leave work to go home.
  4. As you depart for home, you yell to Don, your assistant, "Don, turn it off."
  5. Assistant Don thinks he hears, "Don't turn it off," He shrugs, and leaves the area right after you.
  6. Refer to attachment for the results.

As with any occupation, make sure personnel have a clear
understanding of what you are communicating!

This actually happened! Now see the picture of the consequences.
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.

In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor.

He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.

The angry lady demanded, "What took you so long?"

The unperturbed doctor replied, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area."
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

I have recently been diagnosed with "But First Syndrome."

You know, it's when I decide to do the laundry, I start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK, I'm going to do the laundry....

BUT FIRST...

I'm going to read the newspaper. Then, I notice the mail on the table. OK, I'll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack.......

BUT FIRST...

I'll look through that pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Yes, now where's the checkbook?

Oops...... there's the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table I'm going to look for that checkbook...

BUT FIRST....

I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water. I put the glass in the sink, and darn it, there's the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter.

What's it doing here?

I'll just put it away.....

BUT FIRST...

I need to water those plants. Head for door and........

Aaaagh! Stepped on my dog . My dog needs to be fed.

Okay, I'll put that remote away and water the plants.....

BUT FIRST...

I need to feed the dog......

End of day:
Laundry is not done,
newspapers are still on the floor,
glass is still in the sink,
bills are unpaid,
checkbook is still lost,
and the dog ate the remote control.....
And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done all day......
I'm baffled because.....
I KNOW I was BUSY ALL DAY!!
I realize this condition is serious... and I WILL get help!.........
BUT FIRST..............
I think.... I'll check my E-MAIL!
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)


12:04:03 HMCjonathank: lunch calls...
12:05:16 adameros: Kill a wild, inocent tofu for me... ;)
12:05:17 HMCjonathank: meep meep!


Conversation ended on Mon Apr 9 12:07:23 2001


13:14:28 HMCjonathank: ehhheh
13:14:35 adameros: What's up? :-)
13:15:30 HMCjonathank: was laughing @ adameros: Kill a wild, inocent tofu for me... ;-)
13:15:55 adameros: Ahhh... :-) Gotta love that free range tofurkey... ;)
13:16:10 HMCjonathank: hehehe


Get some remote control cars, a skeet launcher, and other things to make wrapped/sealed tofu products move. And then get nerf guns, and hunt wild tofu. And to make it complete, we need a a couple protesters there for "The Ethical Treatment Of Tofu".
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

I found this on Louise's LiveJournal...


A little survey :)

  1. How tall are you? 6'4"
  2. Do you have a big nose? Yep, and you know what they say about people with big noses...
  3. Do you have a funny lookin bottom? Other than being furry?
  4. How often do you shave? Where?
  5. Do you like canned beets? Yep! We used to can our own sugar beets. I love those! :-)
  6. What is your mother's name? Diana
  7. What do you call your mother? Mom
  8. Do you enjoy having siblings? Once I moved out I did...
  9. Where would you bury a body? Tie it up with weights, and drop it in the middle of the bay?
  10. If you could pick a particlular person to bury, who would that be? Other than myself? Not sure.... I don't dislike anyone that much.
  11. What is your favorite brand of cigarettes? Cigaweed!
  12. If you don't smoke, what is your favorite brand of, um, socks? Thick hiking socks...
  13. If you had a guinea pig, what would you name it? Cat Food.
  14. Can you recite any lines from the movie Ghostbusters ? Any? Hell ya!!! We quote that movie all the time. :-)
  15. What is your favourite kind of keyboard? Ones with piano feel, and the impact strength determines the volume.
  16. What celebrity does your perfect mate resemble? Natalie Imbruglia
  17. What band are you ashamed to admit you love? Roxette
  18. Do you have hair that grows in funny places? Where do I not have hair growing? Besides my forehead and palms?
  19. Do you own any vinyl clothing? Hell yeah! Every wardrobe whould have vinyl!
  20. Do you own any para-military gear? A bit. Mostly for camping.
  21. Do own a firearm, and if so, what kind? Nah... I tried that, but it really stinks when the hairs on my arm burn.
  22. How many piercings do you have? Ow! I think not!
  23. How many tattoos? Ditto!
  24. Are you religious? I worship myself. I spoil myself daily with ritual sacrafices of buying myself cd's, dvds, toys, etc. It's the one true religion.
  25. Do you belong to any Albanian organisations whatsoever? The Albanian Goat Herders and Lovers Assoc.?
  26. What music do you prefer to hump like rabid minks to? Beer Barrel Polka!!!!
  27. Do you speak Swahili? Are you kidding? I invented it!
  28. What country would you dominate and oppress? The tropical island of Farfegnugen. I lovely tropic island with many intoxicating substances and people. Oh... And lot's of hot looking women running around topless.
  29. Do you wear make-up? When the occasion calls for it.
  30. In your opinion, what sexual position goes best with polka? First you need to get the swing, with the handcuff. A couple of the large dildos. 20 japanesse tourists with cameras. One male/female pair of medium sized live stock. ummm... I think this may take more space than is available here...
  31. What is your favourite beer? Black Butte Porter (off tap, the bottle isn't nearly as good).
  32. Liquor? Yes please.
  33. What can you do with your tongue? Come on over, we'll have a couple drinks, and I'll show you... ;)
  34. Speaking of tongues...If you were to be paid 10 million american dollars to stick your tongue up a penguin's unclean ass on live television, would you do it? I can make money off that? No wonder the zoo keeper was laughing when I paid him to let me in! Damn!
  35. Are you a good shot? Let's just say, Shaque and I are equivolent free throwers.
  36. How are you with sharp, pointy objects? Rarely without one.
  37. Are you satisfied with your phyical appearance? Nah. I'm told I'm good looking, but I can't see it.
  38. What song is in your head right now? Punk Rock Girl by The Dead Milkmen
  39. What colour do you hate? Avaccado green. Thank you very much, Louise! ;)
  40. Are you a cracker? I don't know anything about that safe, officer...
  41. What are your ethnic origins? I'm a mut of Europe.
  42. If you could pick any other language to speak right now, what would it be? The Language of Love.
  43. Would you go to Antartica? Oooooh... They have penguins there....
  44. Whom would you most like to see undergo a painful decompression? Drawing a blank...
  45. Have you ever seen seen a dead body? Quite a few, actually.
  46. Would you like to pee? On who?
  47. Would you eat people if you were starving? If they were already dead. Otherwise I might just nibble.
  48. Would you kill them to eat them? A few people I've wanted to kill after eating them (unrealted incidents), but I don't think I would kill to eat anyone.
  49. Would you sacrifice yourself so that your friends and/or loved ones could live? Yep.
  50. Why did you even bother to fill this out? Because it's a social computer virus. People see these and can't help filling them out, further spreading the virus.
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Nicoles's Big Survey

  1. Full Name: Adam Eros Harrison
  2. Nicknames: My name is Adam, but my friend call me Adam.
  3. Screen name[s]: adameros
  4. Age: 28
  5. Grade: 30% downhill.
  6. GPA: Ummm... Next question...
  7. Sex: Male
  8. Birthday: April 24th, 1972
  9. Zodiac sign: Taraus
  10. Hospital: Emmanuel Hospital
  11. Location: Portland, Ore.
  12. Height: 6'4"
  13. Hair Color: brown
  14. Eye Color: green
  15. Siblings [name(s)]: Eizabeth (Libby)
  16. Parents names: Don and Diana.
  17. Hobbies: Music, art, etc.




    The CRUSH Side:

  18. Crush: nope
  19. Girlfriend/Boyfriend: nope
  20. If you could go out with anyone in the world, who would it be? I don't know.
  21. When and who was your 1st crush? I don't remember. Had some many, it's all a blur now.
  22. What do you first notice about the opposite sex? Their smile.
  23. Your idea of a perfect date? Movie and cuddle. Or blow stuff up and fuck. It really depends on who I'm with.
  24. How romantic are you? Pretty romantic, given how clueless I really am.
  25. Biggest turn-on? A witty person. Someone I can tease and flirt with, and they do it right back.
  26. Ideal girl/guy? What we think we want, and what we really want are often very different.
  27. Most romantic thing that happened to you? Hmmm... I don't know. I'm usually the romantic sentimental one in my relationships.




    The PAST Side

  28. Memory you miss most? When I was engaged, think I was secure in my life, my love, my job, etc.
  29. If you could go back in time, where would you go? I would take with me the knowledge of the future, and use it to get rich through gambeling, and then hang out with the hobnobs of the 30's and 40's.
  30. Thing that you regretted doing after you had done it? I really don't want to bring it back up...
  31. Memory you would like to forget? 2nd grade through my sophmore year.
  32. What'd you do yesterday? Came home from Camping at El Mirage with a few friends.
  33. Last person you talked on the phone with? Hell (Erika)
  34. Last thing you said: "John, wanna go to Guitar Center with me? I want to get that DMX 3pin XLR to 5 ppin XLR cable."
  35. Last song you listened to: Crush Story by Cereal Killers
  36. TV show you wish they would re-air again? Buck Rogers.




    The FUTURE Side

  37. Occupation: Lottery winner.
  38. Dream Car: AC Cobra, or a Jaguar XKE Roadster.
  39. Marriage: Yeah, but not for a while.
  40. Kids: 2, probably.
  41. Future son's name: Not sure...
  42. Future daughter's name: Not sure...
  43. Honeymoon: Sail all through the caribean.
  44. Where will you live? In a mansion.
  45. What are you doing tomorrow? Work.




    The FAVORITES Side [there are lots of these!]

  46. Food: pizza
  47. Drink: Energy drinks...
  48. Where did #49 go? Sorry. I borrowed it to wipe my ass, but I put it back now.
  49. Movie: Pump Up The Volume
  50. CD: Varies...
  51. Band/Group: Varies...
  52. Color: Purple.
  53. Actor: Kevin Spacey.
  54. Actress: Angelina Jolie
  55. Weekend Activity: Hanging out with friends.
  56. Day of the week: Friday.
  57. Month: August (Burning Man!!!)
  58. Book: So many...
  59. Holiday: Halloween
  60. Number: 24
  61. Cookie: snickerdoodle.
  62. Phrase you overuse: "Sorry..."
  63. Toothpaste: Crest
  64. Ice Cream: Anything from Ricks Rather Rich.
  65. Candy bar: Skor
  66. Teacher: Experience.
  67. Restaurant: Nola's
  68. Channel: Cartoon Network
  69. Radio Station: Stanford's
  70. Type of music: No twangy vocies, twangy guitars, or chinesse opera.
  71. Shampoo/Conditioner: T-Gel
  72. Song: Varies...
  73. Music Video: Anything by Tool
  74. Sport: I enjoy many sport, seeing them live, but I don't really like sports on TV...
  75. Website: http://boiled.net/
  76. Relative: my mom
  77. Friend: John
  78. Sport to watch on TV: I hate sports on TV.
  79. Sports team: Football or Basketball
  80. State: I don't know. I've lived in Oregon and California. They both rock in their own ways.




    The PEOPLE YOU KNOW Side:

  81. Friends: Too many to list.
  82. Best Friend(s): John
  83. Funniest: Dunno...
  84. Silliest: Dunno...
  85. Loudest: Dunno...
  86. Craziest: Dunno...
  87. Skinniest: Dunno...
  88. Best at keeping secrets: Dunno...
  89. Smartest: Dunno...
  90. Most innocent-looking: Dunno...
  91. Sweetest: Dunno...
  92. Hottest: Dunno...
  93. Weirdest: Dunno...
  94. Most hyper: Dunno...
  95. Pervert: Dunno...
  96. Most annoying: Dunno...
  97. Quietest: Dunno...




    The ONE OR THE OTHER Side:

  98. *N Sync OR BSB: Shoot me now..
  99. Peanut butter OR Jelly: Jelly...
  100. Coke OR Pepsi: Diet Pepsi
  101. Boxers OR Briefs: Boxers
  102. Matt OR Ben: Fuck if I know...
  103. MTV OR VH1: Much Music
  104. Apples OR Oranges: Apples
  105. Vanilla OR Chocolate: chocolate
  106. Flowers OR Candy: candy
  107. Dawson's Creek OR Felicity: Felicity.
  108. Romantic Comedy OR Horror: Romantic Comedy.
  109. Book OR Magazine: Book
  110. TV OR Radio: TV
  111. Is the glass half full OR half empty? Damn it! It was full a second ago! Someone nicked half my beer!!! There is gonna be some ass kickin' tonight!




    The BELIEVE OR NOT Side:

  112. Do you believe in angels? no
  113. Aliens? I believe there is likely life elsewhere in the universe, but I'm fucked to think of any reason they would want to visit us.
  114. Heaven & Hell? Naver gave it any thought. I like to stick to empirical subjects.
  115. God? Ditto
  116. Yourself? *pinch* Ouch!!! I must be real, and not a dream then...




    The HAVE YOU EVER Side:

  117. Been on a plane: Yes.
  118. Cried in public: Yes.
  119. Climbed a tree: Yes.
  120. Fell asleep in a Movie Theater: Yes.
  121. Kissed a guy/girl: Yes.
  122. Met a celebrity: Yes.
  123. Met the president: Nope.
  124. Been scared to get a shot: Yep.
  125. Gotten a cavity: Yes.
  126. Shopped at Abercrombie & Fitch: nope
  127. Had an online relationship: nope
  128. Did the nasty: Yep...
  129. Said, "I love you," and meant it: Yes.
  130. Made prank calls: Yes.
  131. Gone skinny dipping: Yes!!!
  132. Death: Dreaming of Teleute...




    The QUESTIONS THAT DON'T MATTER, BUT I'M STILL ASKING Side

  133. Do you sleep with a stuff animal? Nope. I have a fur blanket bigger and softer than any stuffed animal, EVER.
  134. Last time you showered: An hour ago.
  135. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? purple
  136. How many contacts do you have on your list? Dunno...
  137. Do you like this survey? I have to have a smoke afterward, it was so good.
  138. What are the last 4 digits of your phone number? 0930
  139. One pillow or two? Litterlaly 12. I like a cushy space.
  140. Cotton or feather? Both.
  141. Last CD you bought: Who knows...
  142. How long are you in the shower? Normally 15 minutes, but I was still caked in dirt from Camping, so I spent about an hour...
  143. How do you eat a Reese's Peanut Buttercup: With shrooms..
  144. Feelings on abortion: Pro-abortion. Pro-retro-active-abortion for some selct people.
  145. Is Tupac alive? He and B.I.G. are hangin' with EZ E in a Bora Bora.
  146. Thoughts on Britney Spears? Trailer trash done good?
  147. What does your screen name mean? It's my first and middle name combined. If you want to over analyze it, "Adam" = "First Man" or just "First", and "Eros" means "Love" or "Sex" or "Lust", so possibly "First Love"
  148. Who do you most admire? not sure
  149. Right, Left, or Ambidextrous? Right.
  150. What is on your mouse pad? my mouse, silly...
  151. What is under your bed? My world famous trained dust bunny farm.
  152. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Three
  153. Do you like the person that sent you this survey? iI scrumped it from Nicoles Live journal.