July 19th, 2001

Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

The Columbian novelist Gabriel Garcia Marquez, one of the greatest writers of the 20th century, is in poor health. He has sent this farewell letter.

*******

If for an instant God were to forget that I am a rag doll and gifted me with a piece of life, possibly I wouldn't say all that I think, but rather I would think of all that I say.

I would value things, not for their worth but for what they mean.

I would sleep little, dream more, understanding that for each minute we close our eyes we lose sixty seconds of light.

I would walk when others hold back, I would wake when others sleep.

I would listen when others talk, and how I would enjoy a good chocolate ice cream!

If God were to give me a piece of life, I would dress simply, throw myself face first into the sun, baring not only my body but also my soul.

My God, if I had a heart, I would write my hate on ice, and wait for the sun to show.

Over the stars I would paint with a Van Gogh dream a Benedetti poem, and a
Serrat song would be the serenade I'd offer to the moon.

With my tears I would water roses, to feel the pain of their thorns, and the red kiss of their petals...

My god, if I had a piece of life...

I wouldn't let a single day pass without telling the people I love that I love them.

I would convince each woman and each man that they are my favorites, and I would live in love with love.

I would show men how very wrong they are to think that they cease to be in love when they grow old, not knowing that they grow old when they cease
to be in love!

To a child I shall give wings, but I shall let him learn to fly on his own.

I would teach the old that death does not come with old age, but with forgetting.

So much have I learned from you, oh men...

I have learned that everyone wants to live on the peak of the mountain, without knowing that real happiness is in how it is scaled.

I have learned that when a newborn child squeezes for the first time with his tiny fist his father's finger, he has him trapped forever.

I have learned that a man has the right to look down on another only when he has to help the other get to his feet.

From you I have learned so many things, but in truth they won't be of much use, for when I keep them within this suitcase, unhappily shall I be dying.

GABRIEL GARCIA MARQUEZ
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

What the fuck???

Okay... Tuesday, I was in a rush and forgot to shave. Yesterday I didn't got to work, I worked form home, so I didn't shave. I haven't shaved since last Thursday. I need to shave. But my razor is missing. At some point over the weekend, someone stole my fucking razor?

Why the fuck would someone steal something from me? Everyone knows I'm broke as shit, and I'm living from pay check to pay check.

I am so fucking pissed right now.
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Feel the pain....

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? "Dam!"

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand? Quatro sinko.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka.