August 9th, 2001

Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Two men are pulled over by a Texas Highway Patrolman. When the trooper reaches the men's car he leans inside and smacks the driver on the head with his flashlight. "What the hell did you do that for" the driver asks, to which the trooper responds "You know damn good and well that when I step up here you're supposed to have your drivers license and proof of insurance ready for me to check." After the trooper is finished writing the ticket he walks over to the passenger's side and leans in and smacks the other man in the head with his flashlight. "What the fuck are you doing," the passenger screams. "I'm just granting your wish," replies the trooper. " What wish" asks the man. " I know for a fact that half a mile down the road you're gonna lean over to your friend there and say "I wish he woulda pulled that shit with me."
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

A cab driver picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, " My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you have to be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic.

The nun says, "Ok, pull into the next alley." He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver
starts crying. "My dear child," said the Nun. "Why are you crying?"

"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm a Baptist."

The nun says, " That's OK. I'm on my way to a Halloween party, and my name is Kevin."
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

*phew!!!* I can start breathing again... I thought I was having a heart attack, there for a minute...

Then again, if Tim Burton was directing it, maybe having Marilyn Manson as Willy Wonka, might work.... Hmmm... This idea is growing on my. Sound track by Trent Reznor... Yes!!!! I would be beautiful!!!! 8-D