June 12th, 2002

Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)


  1. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.
  2. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Were Pure.
  3. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
  4. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.
  5. I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We're Even.
  6. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You.
  7. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.
  8. I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
  9. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'dWin.
  10. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.
  11. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Just Like Having You Here
  12. I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin' On My Back and Cryin' Over You.
  13. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.
  14. If I Hadda Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Outta Jail By Now.
  15. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).
  16. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love You.
  17. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him.
  18. Please Bypass This Heart.
  19. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.
  20. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat.
  21. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.
  22. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
  23. She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles.
  24. She's Looking Better After Every Beer.
  25. I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules - each poem has only 17 syllables; 5 syllables in the first, 7 in the second, 5 in the third. They are used to communicate a timeless message often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity. Here are 16 actual error messages from Japan.

Below, the essence of Zen:

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao- until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Isn't that better than "your computer has performed an illegal operation?