Me And My Quirky Quarks.

You might be from the Pacific Northwest if you:

1. Know the state flower (Mildew)
   
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
   
3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
   
4. Know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
   
5. Know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
   
6. Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
   
7. Stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal
   
8. Consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is NOT a real mountain.
   
9. Can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.
   
10. Know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.
    
11. Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, and Willamette.
    
12. Consider swimming an indoor sport.
    
13. Can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
    
14. In winter, go to work in the dark and come home in the dark-while only working eight-hour days.
    
15. Never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
    
16. Are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
    
17. You can NOT wait for a day with "showers and sun breaks."
    
18. Have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
    
19. Know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
    
20. Can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you can not see through the cloud cover.
    
21. You notice "the mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
    
22. Put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
    
23. Switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
    
24. Have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
    
25. Think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
    
26. Knew immediately that the view out of Frasier's window was FAKE.
    
27. Buy new sunglasses every year, because you can't find the old ones after such a long time.
    
28. You measure distance in hours.
    
29. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
    
30. You use a down comforter in the summer.
    
31. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
    
32. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
    
33. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, (Winter), StillRaining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer) and Deer &Elk season (Fall).
    
34. You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends in the Northwest or those who used to live here!
    

Snow Plow

Mike and his blonde wife Carlene live in Omaha. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Carlene goes out and moves her van.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Carlene goes out and moves her van again.

The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park...", then the electric power goes out. Carlene says, "Honey, I don't know what to do."

Mike says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Two Afgans

Two Afghanis are taking a shower when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his butt.

"If you do not mind me saying," said the second, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?"

"I cannot", lamented the first Afghani. "It is permanently stuck in my butt."

"I do not understand," said the other.

The first Afghani says, "I was walking through the desert and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in red, white and blue attire, with a white beard and top hat came oozing out.

"He said, 'I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.'"

And I said, "No shit."

Excuses, excuses...

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss", he says, "we're doing some heavy house cleaning at home tomorrow and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We're short handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."

"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you"

Found in americaneyecon:


I will have to ask Ayatollah Elena if Tazoberry is truely holy.

This from uninterrupted.

1. You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
   
2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you feel irresistable is patience, never give up on you.
   
3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is loyal, faithful, never change.
   
4. What you hate most in your partner is that the person is ruthless, cold-blooded, and/or ironic.
   
5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your partner is one that you care not only about the present but also the future with your partner, a long-lasting relationship that you can grow with.
   
6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything wrong after marriage.
   
7. You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married, you'll treasure it and your partner very much.
   
8. At this moment, you think of love as a committment for both parties.
   

Using KDE, you have an option of giving it a list of images, and you can have it change the background on your screen at regular intervals using the list of images. Here are the 209 images I have cycling through my background, randomly, at work. ( Collapse )