A Quark of A Different Spin. (adameros) wrote,
A Quark of A Different Spin.

Louis went and saw Miami Vice and posted this warning (with very minimal spoilers):

Miami Vice
0 out of 5 stars

Geez does this movie suck. My friend tricked me into seeing this film, I wish I hadn't. I pretty much loathe colin farrel so I went in trying to be as unbiased as possible.. But being a fan of Michael Mann led me to have some mixed expectations.

For those of you where fans of the show, let me inform you now. The movie has nothing to do with the show. Aside from being set in Miami and the two title characters being named "Sonny" and "Ricardo", there isn't a single thing that ties this to the show. A few minutes into the film they change Crockett & Tubbs last names because they go under cover. That's where this thing flew out the window.

The first scene brings you to some club where they're playing Jay Z and Linkin Park. I was expecting something from the 80s, but I guess they wanted to give the movie a "now"/"present" type of feel. I can't picture Sonny Crockett jamming to something as unsophisticated as Jay Z. Colin is sporting a mullet, a 5 oclock shadow and a handlebar mustache. Give this guy a cowboy hat and he's more of a hick than a Crockett. Then you see Jamie Fox as Tubbs, who throughout the film seems perpetually pissed off. (Sort of like Bruce Willis in Tears of the Sun where he's scowling the entire movie.)

The only reason they go undercover (and one of the major plot points) is because there's an FBI leak somewhere. They throw this fact away later on like it was an old movie ticket. You never find out who the leak was and they don't even touch on the subject again.

There are tons of long, awkward/lame scenes where they're doing something inane like taking off their jacket. They just about filmed an entire boat ride to Cuba.

Also, apparently, Michael Mann believes Audioslave is Phil Collins. I like audioslave... But audioslave == provocative/sexual mood music? COME ON. He threw in probably half an album in there.

In short, if you were expecting a badass Crockett, a houseboat, a crocodile, Phil Collins and 80s jams... You'll be sorely disappointed. This thing has zero to do with the show. Avoid this flaming pile at all costs!!!

I wasn't planing on seeing it in the first place, but now I feel I must try to disuade others from seeing it too.

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