June 13th, 2003

Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Think of the children....

A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. The main danger, apparently, is that the organic components of this aroma may break down ozone (I'm not making this stuff up).

I was horrified. When are we going to do something about bread-induced global warming? Sure, we attack tobacco companies, but when is the government going to go after Big Bread?

Well, I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice ....

  1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters.
  2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
  3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.
  4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
  5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!
  6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low occurrence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease and osteoporosis.
  7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat, actually begged for bread after only two days.
  8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to harder items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter and even cold cuts.
  9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
  10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
  11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
  12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Can you find what's missing?

          With our fifth 
    symbol, so much can flow on 
   to our monitor. With out this 
  glyph, art of     communication
 is lost.                   I know                     
amazing                      pains, 
that  a  hurt  button  on  a typing 
utility  can  inflict.  Comfort, in 
communitcation, withdrawn from this
post. Kind to nasty,  my vocabulary
is lax, and
 ridgid. How             much our
  fifth sign is giving. How low
   is it's honors. No way will
     I abandon this amazing
          glyph again.
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

  1. What's one thing you've always wanted to do, but never have?

    Be a staff photographer for National Geographic. I would love to be able to tour the world and get the access to things they get.

  2. When someone asks your opinion about a new haircut/outfit/etc, are you always honest?

    Usually. I might sugar coat it, but the truth is in there.

  3. Have you ever found out something about a friend and then wished you hadn't? What happened?

    Nothing comes immediately to mind. I'll get back to you.

  4. If you could live in any fictional world (from a book/movie/game/) which would it be and why?

    Hmmm... I think I need to make a list for this one...

    1. If I was a wizard, not a muggle, then Harry Potter
    2. Neverwhere
    3. Through the Looking Glass
    4. If I could be the hero, either James Bond or Indiana Jones
    5. The Witch The Lion and The Wardrobe.
    6. Snowcrash

    Basicly some place that would allow for adventure, and have either magic or cool gadgets to keep me amused.

  5. What's one talent/skill you don't have but always wanted?

    There are a couple, and they are simple ones. Welding and glass blowing. I think they would allow for amazing creative outlets.

Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Ask yourself:

  • How many people do you know who dress to fit a social niche?
  • How many people do you know who just get dressed and not worry about what social circle the clothing will label them as?
  • How many assholes do you know?
  • How many cool people do you know?
  • How many cool people dress to fit in with a social group?
  • How many assholes do?

If you are like me, you will find it's the assholes who mostly try to fit a particular fashion group.

The point is, most cool people are cool because it's in their personality. And most assholes try to compensate with cloths.

So, are you cool, or an asshole?
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

You know you are a music geek when...

Today's JUMBLE, The first clue was:


The first thing that pops into my mind:


When infact the word they were looking for was:


Which just made me want to light up.

I wonder if JUMBLE has everbeen used to psychoanalyze people.