September 8th, 2003

Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Well... Let's see how the rating of my journal goes...

A 5.5 from agathazephyr.

A 2.0 from flimsy.

A 3.5 from turquoisexkiss.

A second 5.5 from shorte254.

A 6 from monou_kotori.

And another 6 from paperpieces

And a big fat 0 from veni

Average: 4.07

The all seem to feel style is more valuable than substance. But let's do a counter review. It's only fair that we see what qualifies these people to judge others.

agathazephyr's journal, while extremely whining in content, is very readable. But only if you have your browser set to full screen, and have a good amount of resolution on your monitor. Meaning she is an elitist snob who makes her journal unreadable to anyone who can not manage to scrape up the cash for a large monitor. It's hard to feel sorry for her, with her excessively mopey posts, if she is willing to exclude the less fortunate from her reading audience. I'll bet her parents are rich republicans, and she's spoiled rotten. Oh, and she must be super qualified to judge others journals, because hers is so good that she has a HUGE readership of... 11 people. Yep. She knows how to draw them in with her journal. Must be rivitting stuff. But maybe the problem is people just can't get through her info page without slitting their wrists? My god! Can she drivel on any longer about how fucked up her life is? It never ends. I scrolled through page after page of the crap. Maybe if she had friends in real life, she wouldn't have to fill her time with online whining.

Then we have the cowardly (friends only) anime fan flimsy. Once again, we have an elitist snob. And where agathazephyr used her space effectively, flimsy on the other hand wasted over half of her page on a poorly rasterized image. So not is she being elitist, but then arrogant enough to waste over half the space she has demanded. This leaves the content stuck in a very narrow band on the right. It's hard to read, and having to scroll every other sentence, because the colum is so narrow sucks. Maybe I'm luck it's friends only. The amount of scrolling required for just one post would give you RSI. But let's have a look at the info page, faded grey text on a white back ground. Is she trying to give us RSI AND make us go blind? And I'm guessing she is another one who loses herself in the world of anime because she can't deal with the real world. Finally, the final judge of how readable a livejournal is. The number of readers. To get readers, you have to have content people want to read, presented in a format they can easily read. And how does she rate? 19 readers. Once again, a giant in the livejournal world.

turquoisexkiss obviously never looked at her page design when she did it. She locks you into using a tiny unreadable frame, that isn't even large enough to hand, noticable by the horizontal slide bar. With minimal actual content in her bio, we know she's 16, has brown eyes, and likes to shop. That's about it. But I think her title and subtitle for her page speak volumes:

c a p t u r e d b u t t e r f l y
she has withered all away

(I would like to point out her window setting, and large font choice makes her name read as "capturedbutt". I'm wondering if that's a Freudian slip...)

Anyway... Boo Hoo, cry me a fuckin' river. How cliche can we get. The mopey angsty teen for who the world is all against them. And the rest of us wish we had as cushy of a life as this whiner. Or we can look at her old screen name, __drama_queen__, which oddly enough is almost readable. Puberty must have finaly hit, and her ability to do anythign readable went out the door. But how does she fair on the final test, the livejournal neilson ratings, how many readers does she have. Her old journal, 30 fuckin' readers. And with her new jounal her readership plummets to 17 readers. I guess the whining got to be too much for people to make the jump to the new journal.

shorte254 was actually polite in her response. And she shows the excellent taste in having her journal Labrynth themed. (Try watching Labrynth and the immediately watch the Hellblazer series. When ever the music/sounds get scare you expect muppets to jump out!) But, her journal shares many of the same faults as those of the other judges. It sacrifies far to much functionality in the name form. It's like the tiny chainlink steering wheels on lowriders. It might look cool to some, but it's a pain in the ass to use and experienced drivers will think your an idiot for having it. Let's start with the background image. It's HUGE and distracting. Is your journal about you or Labrynth? It should be you, and your entries dhould be the focal item on the page. Then, your text windo is a fixed size and it's tiny. A pain in the ass to read from. Now for your bio. As any web developer will tell you, important text put in an image is just plan stupid. You can not cut and past. Search engines will not track it. And you have to go through all the effort of creating a new image if anything changes (like having "The Night Before Christmas" when I'm pretty sure you mean "The Nightmare Before Christmas". And, for feeling that your journal is so good you can judge others, you only have 27 readers. If your journal was all that, you your design and content was so great, wouldn't you think you would have more readers? Oh, and I have known people who lived in Yuba city, and actually driven through. My condolences. Leave as soon as you can. Run, do not walk. But, like I said, shorte254's post actually tried to be constructive and helpful, and not nearly as spiteful as the other harpies who reviewed me. For that, she get's a huge thumbs up.

While I am not trying to kiss ass, but monou_kotori has given me the best review yet, and I like her journal the best of the other judges so far. Just two complaints. First, the columns are too narrow. It's harder to get into a flow reading her journal, and makes it stretch on forEVER! Second, and aminore nit, the text in the image at the top is hard to read. You bio is nicely laid out and easy to read. You have 83 readers and deserve every one of them. Rock on!

Damn it, I'm going to like like I've been bribed, but I also like paperpieces's journal. Easy on the eyes. Nicely laid out. Good use of space. I wish it wasn't friends only, as this is a page I would enjoy reading. Plain and simply, it look profesional. You only have 43 members. You deserve far more. Maybe if it wasn't friends only....

Ahhh... veni. Where to begin. With the background image he claims takes a while to load, but never does? The bio with no bio info, just innane banter? No, I think we will start with the god awful colors. A pastel orange background. With pastel pink heading. And then pastel mauve title bars. If I ate split pea soup with corn and poi, my puke would be more color coordinated. The blind were truly bless when this pair make their journal. Then they use those same pastel colors for the text in their info, on a WHITE BACKGROUND. Unreadable. Wouldn't "design" include making the text readable, or is typing just mental masturbation for you? Oh, and half the links to images in their user info are broken. Is that part of the "design"? And this pair of mental midget's weighs in with a whooping 37 readers. Woo Fucking Hoo.

So, what qualifies these people (except: monou_kotori and paperpieces), who can't get squat for readers of their own (read: "their journals suck"), to judge others on the quality of their journals?

Next review?
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)


My personality is rated 28.

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

The closer to fifty that the number is, the stronger your personality is. The closer to zero that the number is, the weaker your personality. The best scores to have are between 25 and 40.

What is yours?
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quiz by midgetfarm.com


Ceci n&#39;est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Every year there is one stupid movie that I must see above all others. I have found it. Miramax is dubbing and rereleasing for the U.S. audiences Shaolin Soccer. I saw the preview at Pirates of the Carribean, and it's the one. Trust me. I'm an expert when it comes to stupid movies.