September 17th, 2003

Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

The Scot

One misty Scottish morning a man was driving through the hills to Inverness.

Suddenly out of the mist, a massive red-haired highlander stepped into the middle of the road. The man is at least six feet four and has the appearance of a walking wardrobe. He has a huge red beard and despite the wind, mist and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his kilt, a tweed shirt and a tam-o'-shanter at a rakish angle. At the roadside there also stands a young women. She is absolutely beautiful - slim, shapely, fair complexion, golden hair....... heart stopping.

The driver stops and stares, and his attention is only distracted from the lovely girl when the red thing opens the car door and drags him from his seat onto the road with a fist resembling a whole raw ham.

"Right, you Jimmy" he shouts, "Ah want you to masturbate",

"But......" stammers the driver.

"Du it now...or I'll bluddy kill yer!"

So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers and starts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl on the roadside this doesn't take him long.

"Right" snarls the highlander "Du it again!"

"But....." says the driver.

"Now!"

So the driver does it again.

"Right laddie, du it again" demands the highlander.

This goes on for nearly two hours. The hapless driver gets cramps in both arms, he has rubbed himself raw, has violent knob-ache, his sight is failing (as promised for years by his priest) and despite the cold wind has collapsed in a sweating, jibbering heap on the ground, unable to stand.

"Du it again" says the highlander.

"I can't do it anymore - you'll just have to kill me", whimpers the man.

The highlander looks down at the pathetic soul slumped on the roadside. "All right laddie," he says, "NOW you can give ma daughter a lift to Inverness".
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Some people expressed an interest in going deer "hunting"*. I think we should do this this spring or summer, as snow is already dusting Mount Hood, so most other places we would go will be rather cold by the time regular deer hunting season rolls around in October.

So, this spring or early summer (before the fire season) I was thinking we could take our tents a good camping in some remote spot. But then I remembered a few of the people wanting to go do not have tents. D'oh! Then in today's Oregonian, they have an article on how you can rent old forest service lookout towers are $30-$40 a night, and some of them even have working toilets, so we wouldn't need to worry about packing out the human waste! (big plus in my book, as I'm the one with the pickup and would have been stuck with that job).

So, who is interested in going, and I should endevour to keep informed of our plans?

*: By "hunting", we mean stalking and photographing. My Sister and I used to love the family trip going deer hunting and loved tracking the deers through the forrest, etc. But neither of us have the desire to ever shoot a deer again. Why ruin a perfectly wonderful hunting trip by having to clean and haul a carcass? So, we and who ever else will go hunting with aour cameras, and who ever can get the best photo of a deer get's bragging rights, and maybe a small prize of some sort.
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

<td bgcolor="#000000">username</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">age</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">middle name</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">location</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">In a hearse</td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Partner the first</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Kiera Knightley</td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Partner the second</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Ed Burns</td></tr>
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Ceci n&#39;est pas une personne.

(no subject)

This is going to sound really horrible and selfish, especially once my reasons are known...

I wish there would be a major natural distaster here. Earthquake. Volcanic eruption. Fire. Tornado. Hurricane. Carrot Top movies on all the channels (okay, that one is too cruel). Not because I hate people or I want people to die. But rather, I would like to hop in my 4x4 and go around and take pictures. Forsome reason I love looking at aftermath pictures. Pictures from the great S.F. quake of 1812. The post Chicago fire pictures. Post flood photos. Not only do you see the amazing power of nature, but you also see the even more amazing strength of the human spirit. Seeing people pulling together to survive against everything nature has to throw at us. I would love to beable to capture that on film.