September 24th, 2003

Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Ladies vs Real Women

Ladies - If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

Real Women - If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

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Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Women - Take a lime; mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?

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Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying with your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.

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Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs.

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Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.

Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the sonofabitch for you.

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Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Real Women - Sara Lee's frozen freaking pie directions do not include brushing egg whites, so I don't do it.

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Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.

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And finally the most important tip....

Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women - Leftover wine??

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A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

The worst book covers. I'm guessing the books aren''t that good either.

Your George Bush action figure feeling lonely? How about getting the Uday action figure to go with him.

Oh man... I am in the wrong business. Look at this article and scroll down to paragraph five.

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Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

<td bgcolor="#000000">LJ Name</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Favorite Color</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Gay or Not Gay?</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Not only gay, but a pervert too.</td></tr>
Gay or Not Gay? by tashay17
Created with quill18's MemeGen!
Ceci n&#39;est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Warriors of Light

YOU ARE A WARRIOR OF THE LIGHT!

You aren't evil at all - in fact, you've dedicated
your life to battling evil. With your trusty
sword and your unending courage you are
determined to send all evil back to the
darkness from whence it came. You are a dying
breed, and have a tough battle ahead of you.


Welcome to the shadows!

And now that you know who you are, take my hand and
join me in a trip to the unknown....

Come
with me and live forever....




What Evil Creature of the Night are you?
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Ceci n&#39;est pas une personne.

(no subject)

So, Portland and beach goers. The weather should be very sunny. Portland, they are expecting a high 91 on Saturday and 88 on Sunday. The coast is usually about 10-20 degrees cooler.

soshesays, are you coming to Portland for the party Saturday night and wandering around town on Sunday? I just want to know if I need to get the second guest room ready. :-)

Also, either of you have problems with dogs? I was thinking of bringing Jamie, our very friendly (read: loves anyone who pet's her) rotweiler. She's 14, arthritic, and very lazy.