October 13th, 2003

Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Time for some punishment...

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
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A string walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve strings here."He crumples him up and tosses him out onto the sidewalk where he gets all scraped up and tangled. The string walks right back in and orders a drink. Amazed, the bartender asks, "Hey, aren't you that same string I just threw out?" The string answers, "No, I'm a frayed knot!"
~~~~~~~~~
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
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Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
~~~~~~~~
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed; is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up
and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy."
~~~~~~~~~~~
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
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I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in
the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak
and heat it too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A f sh.
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "dam".
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Looking at Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, and all the stereo types they hype in their having gay men help straight men, I can help but wonder how long until they have a lesbians helping straight women show. Which, I'm sure would also be over run with stereo types. If such a show existed, what would the lesbians help the straight women with? Remodelling? Car repair? Playing golf or tennis? What stereo type do you think would have the best ratings (and not have the censores go mideval on the shows ass)?
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Just one?!?!?!?! This is going to seriously hurt my standing in the Pimp of the Year competition!!!

Who has a crush on adameros?
The below numbers indicate what sorta crushes adameros's friends have on him, as taken from the results of the original LJ Secret Crush Meme.
Questions? Please read the FAQ.



1 people have a Secret Crush on adameros.
0 people have a Public Crush on adameros.
0 people have an Ex-Crush on adameros.


How many people have a crush on you?


What disturbs me about this... Some one did this quiz, most likely thinking it was private. But no. they have it so I can pay $4 to find out who has a crush on me. So, before you go and fill out their first secret crush quiz, you should know it's not private and they are trying to make a quick buck off of you.

Anyway, they will get no money from me, as a) I don't have 4 bucks to spare, and b) I'm pretty sure who every my secret admirer is would be embarressed if I found out and is keeping the crush secret for that reason.

Isn't that right sausage_boy?
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

From all the duplicate posts and comments I'm seeing (including a couple of my own), I'm guessing Livejournals net is sucking big, scabby, veiny, drippy, donkey dong.
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

My youth is being coopted...

I couple days ago I was out and went to about 7 different businesses. Three of which were playing Pet Shop Boys as relaxing mood music for the shoppers. Not one, one could be writen off as a fluke,but three stores!!! I found that depressing. Something I revelled in is now the equivalent of Muzak.

And now, Pictures of You by The Cure, one of my most favorite songs, is on an advertisement for HP.

I feel so dirty now. And not in the good kinky way.
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

I've decided my journal is a mental stress test. It's basic desing is to push the bounderies in the realm of bad of punctuation, spelling, and grammar that editors, would be editors, and grammar fanatics can handle.

I know I've done a good job when I hear heads exploding in the distance.