It is with the saddest heart I pass on the following:
Please join me in remembering a great icon -- the veteran Pillsbury spokesman, the Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of complications from repeated pokes in the belly and a chronic yeast infection.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The gravesite was piled high with flours, as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough, and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.
I know the residents of Oregon have decided they would like the state to go bankrupt, and as my fiscally lacking brethren got their way, I doubt my dream will ever come true.
My dream... I would love a vista point on I-5, on the Tewilliger Hill. As it is, I regularly see people (including me) enjoying the veiw, and not driving safely. I think we need a little pull off where people can safely park, take a gander, and then be on their merry way.
Anyway, back to my intelligence/monetary-sense lacking fellow Oregonians... The voted down Measure 30. This would tax the average person about $100/year. Right now Oregon is ranked 44th when it comes to taxes. With Measure 30, we would have been ranked 37th. Because this tax was not approved, teachers and school days will be cut. College funding will be cut. Health services will be cut. Etc, etc, etc.
And thing my wonderfully intelligent co-Oregonains fail to realize is with the increase in insurance costs allow, to cover the uninsured people now not covered by the Oregon Health Plan, insurance hikes alone will likely cost each of use more than the Measure 30 would have.
Thank you my fellow Oregonians, you have collectively shot us all in the foot.
I just did a little "research"*, and as far as I can tell the only time there has been an amendment to take rights way instead of granting them was prohibition.
The reason I bring this up is Bush is wanting to create an anti-gay-marriage amendment. It seems to me that an amendment to take rights away goes against the nature and tradition of the constitution. I find it ironic that the people who were saying "God" belongs in the pledge of allegiance because of "tradition" are most like the same people for breaking tradition and passing an amendment to take rights away. I'm think these people will make up any excuse to justify forcing their religious beliefs on others.
* Research: briefly scanned the constitution and it's amendments.