March 2nd, 2004

Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

A teen walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of dog shit in the other.

He says to the waiter, "I want coffee." The waiter says, "Sure, coming right up."

He gets the teen a tall mug of coffee, and the teen drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of shit, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.

The next morning the teen returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of dog shit in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "I want coffee."

The waiter says, "Whoa, punk! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway?"

The teen smiles and proudly says, "I'm training for upper management position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, leave a mess for others to clean up, and disappear for rest of day."
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

Cemeteries... Such a happy subject.

I was driving through Shrerwood the other day and I couldn't help but notice all the tiny cemeteries, often the size of one lot. As the urban groth bondery exends out from Portland, I wonder what will be come of these monuments.

This lead me to ponder what the future hold for interning our dead as our cities grow. Then it occurred to me... Imaginf building a parking structure with 20 to 30 foot ceilings and bring in the dirt, plant grass and small trees, and the maybe some UV lights to run at night to keep the plants happy. A multi story cemetery. The eternal condo for you loved ones. I'm sure these will come. That the will likely be built on hills and hype how every plot has a great view.




The other thing I was pondering... Dark Matter... What ever angsty teen is dying to have? Perhaps, but actually is is a theoretical substance that composes a good part of the universe, and has the unique aspect of an anti-gravity type effect (it pushes instead of pulls). It is said to be responsable for the further expansion of the galaxy.

This makes me think that gravity might be more like magnetism. Imagine taking a magnet and making so the center was one pole and all the outside was the other pole, and that oposites repulsed and like attracted. This is my guess as to how we will find gravity works. But what defines what the polarity of the gravity is? Will it be something simple like a re ordering or different spins on the quarks? Or as improbable as it is, have protons orbiting a nucleus of electrons and neutrons? If dark matter could be contained and used, just imaging what the uses of the anti gravity could be, and what the hazards would be. You could use it to lift trains and things like that for frictionless travel. It would also repel air, creating a vacum around it which would be bad for people, but would further reduce air friction for transportation.

But I think we will see this created in a lab far before we witness it upclose in nature.
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

I saw this posted to damnportlanders, and thought I would pass it on, and see which of my broke out of town friends I could sucker into moving here...

General Office Assistant: Full-time position in corporate HQ providing support to administration, accounting and engineering as needed. Knowledge of filing systems required, reception skills a must (will act as back-up and relief to the receptionist). Punctuality, attendance and flexibility a must. Full benefits package, including medical & dental insurance, life insurance, 401(k) and profit-sharing. Salary range: $10 - $12 an hour, depending upon experience and qualifications. Equal Opportunity Employer.

Please email cover letter and resume to: patriotschick@aol.com.
Ceci n'est pas une personne.

(no subject)

They had a blurb about the movie The Spook Who Sat by the Door on NPR today. I think I need to see this movie. It only played for a couple days and was thought to be too political and the studios pulled and locked it away for years, and it's finally coming out on DVD.

Basicly the story is about a black man who is hired by the CIA as a token black. But he learns there ways and uses it to bring down the system. Supposedly one of the best movies made on using information as a weapon. This movie inspired enough fear to keep it hidden this long, I think it's worth a viewing.