Along with the stuff Peter and I got yesterday, I brought some Danish 'Old Cheese' (gamle ost) while I was visiting family in Denmark. I asked for some really old stuff and the woman behind the counter held up a chunk and said, "This is a really old one, see the orange stuff?"
Danish Old Cheese is really good, but it's pretty strong, so there are some things to remember:
- You should avoid touching Danish Old Cheese with your fingers or they will smell like that for a while.
- You shouldn't eat Danish Old Cheese if you have a date later. She might start yelling and throwing things at you ( on the other hand, if she's already Danish, feel free )
- You shouldn't take Danish Old Cheese for long rides on public transportation during rush hour.
- If you are French, contact with Danish Old Cheese may cause you to become somewhat eccentric, including causing delusions that work is really a beach party.
- Do not attempt to get married within 36 hours of eating Danish Old Cheese ( start counting Rudy )
- Remember: You can always tell a Dane. You just can't tell him very much.
- When transporting Danish Old Cheese through American customs, do not volunteer the fact that (and hope that the customs agent does not ask about whether) Danish Old Cheese can be considered a weapon of mass destruction.
I sampled this cheese yesterday and it rates about a 5 on a scale to 10 in oldness - just about right for adventurous Americans.
If you're wondering what eating Danish Old Cheese might be like, imagine an old toothless man name Ole sitting on a porch in a rocking chair . As you approach, he begins shouting explicatives at you. The closer your get, the more obscene Ole becomes. When you finally reach the porch, Ole starts hitting you with his cane. Ole hits much harder than you initially thought he would when you were looking at him sitting there from a distance. It takes longer to forget about your confrontation with Ole than you thought. He keeps popping up every time you open your mouth.
I can't wait to try it.