You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get to the office.
Having smoking and non-smoking sections in the same room is like having urinating and non-urinating sections in a swimming pool.
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.