- Once over the hill, you pick up speed.
- I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
- If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.
- Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
- I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.
- Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
- We cannot change the direction of the wind but we can adjust our sails.
- days are a total waste of makeup.
- Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by you again?
- If the shoe fits......buy it in every color.
- If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
- Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
- If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
- My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
- Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
- It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
- If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel soooooo goooooood.
- Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
- A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
- Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
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