The State of the Union Address Drinking Game
Trust me, during tomorrow's SOTU address, you're going to need a drink. or several. So you might as well make a game out of it. E. Joseph Addison, one of my columnists, devised this little set of rules to make the event just a little less painful with every shot...
The Official State of the Union Drinking Game:
Drink once whenever:
1. Bush mispronounces a word.
2. A nominee for Democratic Presidential Candidate appears on camera.
3. Bush threatens Iraq.
4. A new country is added to the “Axis of Evil” (one drink per country).
5. The words “faith based initiative” are used.
6. Bush refers to Islam as “a religion of peace.”
7. Senator Hilary Clinton (D-NY) fakes a smile or arbitrarily applauds.
8. Bush claims that our economy is recovering.
9. Saddam Hussein is declared a threat to all “freedom loving peoples.”
10. The word “bipartisan” is used.
11. A tax cut in excess of 200 billion dollars is proposed.
12. The restructuring of Medicare is referred to as
best left to private insurance companies.
Drink twice whenever:
1. The “Bush twins” are shown.
2. The words “nuclear,” “chemical” and “biological” are used in one sentence.
3. “Nuclear” is mispronounced “nookular.”
4. The audience applauds for more than twenty seconds.
For those of you thinking that instead of swigging a beer, you’ll do a shot of Jägermeister, I have some advice: DON’T BE A HERO. Vomiting is automatic disqualification and will lead to a lifetime of shame. And last but not least, please remember that this is a drinking game — you are encouraged to bet on it.
A brief disclaimer:
If you black out after playing The Official State of the Union Drinking Game, The South End and Wayne State University are not liable. It’s not our fault that you can’t hold your liquor.
Heather? Lyra? Feeling up to poisoning your liver? I know Heather want's to be a hero. :-)