A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:
- "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
- "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
- "Can you hear me NOW?"
- "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
- "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
- "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
- "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
- "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey."
- "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
- "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
- "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
- "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
- "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"