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Feb. 19th, 2004 @ 07:07 am (no subject)
Now that dk's roommate, divamatrix, has added a few of us as friends, I think we should all make up stories about DK to scare her.

Now presenting (typos, gramatical errors, and all) our new web show, "This Could Be DK's Life!!!"

Jason was born and raised by a Harleye Davidson sect of the Amish community. But rifts soon formed as Jason out grow Barn Raising cruise-ins and joined a Rastafarian GTi cult.

As we all know the Harley lovin' Amish are sworn enemies of the GTi revin' Rastafarians, which lead to Jason's parents sending some bible toting cyclists after him. This resulted in a high speed chase, in which Jason rolled his much beloved GTi and ended up in the hospital.

At this point Jason understood the danger he was in and went into hiding. Since he was in the hostpital already he opted for plastic surgery to disguise himself. To understand how radical the change was you have to relize he was the stunt double for Gilber Gottfried in Aladin.

It was in the hospital Jason was recruited by Olly North to research possible ways of funding freedom fighter through the vices of those in Lodi, California.

Little did Olly know he was actually a double agent working for as in infiltrator in the republican party for Ralph Nader. While Jason was very successful in this role spying on the republicans, there were a few suspicions. As Jason had absolutely no prblem yelling, "Kill 'em all," but he had trouble with the, "and let God sort them out," bit.

Eventually he left, and is currently laying low somewhere in the southwest. Rumor has it, following the current cross dressing rage stemming from "Hedwig and the Angery Inch", Jason is is currently doing an adult off-off-off broadway remake of "The Muppets Take Manhatten" and has been getting standing ovations in his roll as Janice.

Good night, and thank you for watching, "This Could Be DK's Life!"
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Ceci n'est pas une personne.
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From:divamatrix
Date:February 19th, 2004 08:38 am (UTC)
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Oh my god. That took me 20 minutes to read. Between laughing my ass off and the typo's and grammatical errors, I kept having to reread it. I am fighting off the urge now to run in and wake up Jason so that he can read this, what I can only describe as colorful, rendition of his life. Ah well.. I suppose I will have to settle for sending the Zim into his room and let him meow for his breakfast.
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From:digitalretina
Date:February 19th, 2004 10:49 am (UTC)
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hahahahahah!!!! That's fuckin' great!!
my sides hurt..thanks, adam :)

I especially liked the "Rastafarian GTi cult" and the roll of Janice--too funny! :P
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From:adameros
Date:February 19th, 2004 10:54 am (UTC)

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You need to write a biography for him also! :-) I think would be funny if we could get as many people as I can who know him to write thier of bio-fictions about Jason. Spread the word and help make more episodes of "This Could Be DK's Life!" :-)