A Quark of A Different Spin. (adameros) wrote,
A Quark of A Different Spin.

As there are a few friends of mine getting married, I thought I would impart some sanity saving advice.

How am I qualified, you ask? While I have never tied the knot, I have been engaged, been photographer at a few weddings, and listenned to many, many, many hours of post wedding gossip.

Rule number 1: The wedding is NOT for you. It's for your family. The honeymoon is for you. Your friends are happy for you, but have known you as a couple for so long, they are more thinking you will now beable to afford a large house and couch surf at your place longer.

Rule number 2: Other than, "I do," the only words that should cross your lips are, "Thank you for coming," and "I'm so happy to see you." Anything else will be misconstrewed as an insult. "I can't believe you made it," will be heard as, " What are you doing here? I don't remember invitng you." Even though this part is for your family, and you are forking out big bucks for it, people will still want to you kiss their ass for coming. Better bring the chap stick and start puckering, because any failures on this day with make family relations rocky for years to come.

Rule number 3: You are a social butterfly. A butterfly does not stay at one flower long, and you should not stick to one conversation long either. This saves you from saying anything that might be constrewed as "wrong" and makes sure you get time with everyone.

Rule number 4: Go light on the alcohol. You don't want in-laws seeing you being anything be a tea-tottler or they will start with, "Oh, they must have a drinking problem," to, "I'll be they are an abusive drunk," to," I hear they can't keep a job due to the drinking."

Rule number 5: No jokes! Jokes are not universal. Those are best to the best man. Let them embarrass themselves and leave you looking like a good sport.

Rule number 6: As soon as the reception is over, get to the honeymoon as fast as you can. No lingering. You're relatives will be getting drunk and starting to cause problems, and you don't want to be around for it.

I would offer rules on honeymoons, but I think I would need to go on one first.

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